Holidays are wonderful: delicious food and drink, laughter, time “off” from work. Just thinking of a perfect pumpkin pie sends me to a very happy place: the sweetly seasoned custard filling, the flaky pastry crust, and copious cream topping. Yum!
But holidays are also stressful, and too often tinged with sadness. For some, there are “supposed to be” feelings that leave gaping holes. [“I am supposed to be enjoying the holidays with a husband or at least a special someone.” “My children are supposed to be celebrating with their mother and father together.”]
I do not know how to erase the sadness. One can compartmentalize, focus on the good and try not to think about that which is painful. On can fill the void with pie, and denial.
Today, I am thinking of acknowledging the struggles, raising a glass, and toasting “To Survival.”
Today, I am especially thankful for the people who have acknowledged, with kindness and compassion, that raising children alone is not easy. I am particularly grateful for those who just listen, and offer a hug.
I am thankful for those who don’t judge, and don’t try to fix things, but who just offer an ear. It is with the support of those patient people that I and many like me have survived.
I am trying too to believe the best about that those who are impatient, those who don’t get that the struggles continue. Maybe the people who think one should simply “get over” a divorce because years have passed just do not understand.
I will try toasting to them too. Maybe their “judging” is really just blissful ignorance. Maybe it doesn’t mean they care any less….